Dear God

Dear God,

I think I feel alone tonight,
Though I know You hold me tight.
So it must be the physical space
The warmth of a hug, a soft embrace.

I miss the closeness, skin to skin,
The quiet love that dwells within.
And I’m so tired, I’m worn clean through,
Because it feels like it’s all on me, not You.

Which is strange, ‘cause I know You’re near,
But still I ache. Still fight this fear.
Is this all just to bring me back?
To fill the void, to fix the lack?

My finances, Lord, they’ve taken a blow,
There’s nothing to buy to soothe this low.
I’ve applied to jobs, no one replies.
No title to chase, no disguise.

I prayed for here, this very place,
Yet I feel hollow, stuck in space.
My lease runs out—I don’t know what’s next,
Should I leave or stay? I feel perplexed.

I want to be healthy—so food's no fix,
I’ve overindulged, fell for the tricks.
The man I love? You’ve drawn us apart.

I know there’s a lesson inside this heart.

Friends mean well, but they don’t see…
They’re just not walking this path with me.
There’s nothing on earth that fills this ache,
No smile to wear, no break to take.

I can’t help but feel this is something divine,
A spiritual shift, a crossing line.
It’s hard. It stings. It makes me cry.
No fast-forward button, no lullaby.

I just have to sit. I just have to be.
To trust that You are working in me.
And these are the thoughts I offer today,
Is it to You, Lord, I send them your way?

Let this be prayer. Let it be true.

I just needed to share... and speak to You.