Becoming Is Not a Race
I think we all reach a time in our lives when we ask ourselves, “What am I doing? What’s going on? What have I actually accomplished?” And if you haven’t reached that point yet—consider yourself lucky.
Comparison truly is the thief of joy.
When you’re not rooted in God, when your foundation isn’t solid, it’s easy to become consumed by what you don’t have. For me, it’s the house. The marriage. The babies I want so dearly. I know it’s just not my time yet, and while I accept that, I also allow myself to feel the longing. I just can’t let it consume me.
Some days are harder than others.
Social media gives us access to people’s lives—but without the full story. Yes, they might have a house, a spouse, a family. But to assume it came easy? That’s not fair. We weren’t there for the struggle, the sacrifice, the unseen prayers. And honestly, it's not our concern.
Learning to be happy for others without feeling behind is a constant battle.
It’s hard seeing what you want in the hands of someone else. But as I deepen my faith, I remind myself: There’s enough to go around. When it’s my time, it’ll be mine in a way that’s meant for me.
Let me be clear—this isn’t jealousy. I’m not coveting. But I’ve found it helps to shift my focus. To name what I do have. To prepare for what’s coming. So that when it arrives, I don’t squander it.
Sometimes I feel behind, or that I haven’t done enough. Yet I know there are people who look at my life and feel the same. And my immediate response to them would be, “You are right where you’re supposed to be.”
I believe that—so why is it so hard to say it to myself?
I'm learning to find joy in what I do have—to praise myself for what I’ve accomplished, like earning a master’s degree and reaching financial goals. I’m choosing to celebrate the things that make me happy, like my puppy, prioritizing my health, eating better, and going to the gym. I'm also reconnecting with my creativity—slowly, intentionally—so I can fall in love with myself again, not with others or things. I'm learning to make do with what I have and spending more time in God’s Word.
Idunno, it just feels like I have to pour into God and myself t o survive this season of waiting. The season of Idunno.
If you've ever felt behind, unseen, or overwhelmed by the weight of waiting—this was written for you.
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