Learning Boundaries from the Most Unexpected Place

I have to admit—I’ve been in a tough headspace lately. Trying to protect my peace without losing my character. Trying to speak up without becoming hard. There has to be a middle ground, right?

I’ve realized everything in life is about balance. And oddly enough, the best example I’ve found lately… is men.

Stay with me.

Men are selfish. Wait—don’t click away! I don’t mean that in a fully negative way. Hear me out.

In every dating experience I’ve had—no matter how it ended—men have always put themselves first. And they do it without guilt. Without a second thought. The world, after all, has taught them they can.

But here’s the thing: they don’t struggle to walk away. They don’t over-explain. They say no. They disappear and return like nothing ever happened. And even when they pursue someone, they rarely consider anything outside of what they want—whether that’s a relationship, sex, attention, or just a moment.

Meanwhile, I’m overthinking every little thing. With my degrees and my insight, I make everything more complicated than it has to be.

But I’m learning.

If a guy takes three days to text back, there’s no need to spiral. He won’t. So why should I? If I want to say no to someone’s advance, I’ll say no—no group chat consultations necessary. Get rejected? Move on. They do.

So here I am, adopting a little “healthy selfishness.” Practicing boundaries. Letting go of needing to explain every feeling. Because peace doesn’t come from control—it comes from clarity.

If this resonates with you—or if you're also learning how to put yourself first—stick around. 20slx.blog is where I unpack more of these moments in real time.

→ Subscribe for free and walk this messy, meaningful journey through your 20s with me.